DECONSTRUCTING SELF

Just the other day I came across this quote “Romance is the privilege of the rich, for poor they must be practical.” It was under the heading “Think It Over…” and really kickstarted my thought machine. My mindballs got activated and came in a state of flux. Initially, my elements moved to and fro between the two contrasts. Whether it was some medieval old world mumbo-jumbo or a critique of our times? For solutions I flew back in time. Since time immemorial, love stories of lore had been sung and written about –Laila-Majnu , Romeo-Juliet , Soni-Mahiwal (to name a few ). And in most of the cases, they belonged to the economic classes at the two ends of the spectrum. As is known to us, most of them transpired with bitter ends –the motto being ‘Till death set us apart’. Their love immortalized over time, distance and boundaries of class, creed and civilization. But to classify them as successful would be a difficult one. They set great examples but ‘are they worth following’ is very much debatable. For a while forget the bigger question-are we clear on the basics.

Each of us has his own definition of ‘Love’. Honestly whats love? Lets be simple without bordering on the metaphysical and the spiritual. One fine day, 7-8 years ago we were struck with this question –‘we’ stands for me n my unsuspecting classmates. It was our ‘Moral Science’ class and little to lecture on, the teacher launched this torpedo in our midst. In spite of our best efforts to dodge it, she was hell-bent upon an answer. As usual her favorite bunnies were rounded up – yours truly being one as well. Some tried a vague explanation, while others went the Hollywood way. It was a time when I took great pride in giving muddled answers with a little taken from here, a little borrowed from there and in more than a few occasions came out scot-free. This had emboldened me and I had almost perfected the ‘jugad’ trick (which normally is a feat for the college..) back then. So come this time I was prepared for the assault (read question) and gave an altogether different turn to the discussion.” Mam’ its something complicated, it can be equated to attraction in magnetism, unlike poles attract each other, like poles repel each other.” The answer hadn’t escaped from my mouth and the class was bursting with laughter, even the oh-so-stubborn faculty managed a smile.

Shahrukh Khan redefined love in the nineties with an out-of-the box dialogue “pyar dosti hai”. Love is friendship. The writing on the wall was perfected by Kunal Kohli’s Humtum “ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte”. Well that was Bollywood at its best –funny and ridiculous. Thanks to the sms phenomenon we have the economists ,biologist and technologist point of view. Eco : Love is that entity for which demand is always higher than supply. Bio: Severe infection of a bacillus which when viewed under microscope shows heart-shaped colonies being sensitive to antibiotics like CAREcillin. Tech: Love functions like a Blue Tooth, in which 2 bodies are connected without any Data Cable. Take your pick…

My oxford dictionary describes ‘Love’ as ‘a strong feeling of affection’ and /or ‘ a great interest and pleasure in something’. Are we any clearer?? Rather not.. Old scriptures dictate ‘Its better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all’. Clearly, they had uncluttered views which didn’t pass to subsequent generations !! The consumerism of our times has tended to simplify the matter by notching up words like ‘crush’, ‘infatuation’ ,’obsession’.. They tell us..crushes happen all the time when you are walking on the road, riding a bus or even watching television, its just spontaneous attraction . Likewise infatuation is a adolescent thing –a crush which refuses to pass on & builds into intense passion. Those who’ve been through the blockbuster ‘Fatal Attraction’ or its Indian version ‘Pyar Tune Kya Kiya’ have first hand-knowledge of obsession. Complications abound –classification leads us nowhere.

Lets leave the specifics –what about a middle path? Ok we know love is pure, love is divine.. Who have loved have lived, Who hasn’t has to start living. But feeling is believing – in there lies the cure to our confusion.

Love does not require a definition –different people interpret it differently. Its not an economic entity whose pros and cons are laid out. It is beyond the purview of the methodical, know-it-all science. The closest scientists have come to describing it is- affection generates endorphins, hormones which cause a feeling of well-being, a feel-good factor. Inconclusive!!. There are neither conditions nor restrictions in love. What better way to put it than the oft-repeated dialogue – if u love someone set him free, if he returns then he is yours for the taking otherwise he didn’t love you at all in the first place. Love defies boundaries –there is no definite flight plan. It charters its own course- doesn’t require a mariner’ compass. The vagaries of nature – whirlpools, sandstorms –fade in its face.

It would be foolish to call it a ‘process’, ’cycle’ or ‘procedure’. One can’t think beforehand and start loving –it ain’t a mechanical process. It happens, it doesn’t occur. There are symptoms of ‘Loveria’– u lose your sleep, abstract thoughts crisscross your mind, appetite juggles from min to max, dreams which were multi-faceted now have a sole occupant. All pretty much generalized …

Even the 4^th generation computers can’t lay an algorithm for it. They meet a dead-end at this point. Because love is everywhere- radiating from the inner reaches of our soul to the building blocks of nature. Its what it appears- the realization of the brightest dream of our life. Honestly its simple .Once you’ve ‘been there done that’, words matter little, you’ve a firsthand account…a story to tell..that too..your own..

In celebration of the spirit of love, tune in to one of the finest romantic melodies of our times, You are my #1 (Enrique feat ALSU )…