DISCLAIMER : The strange style of writing and the weird viewpoint presented can be attributed strictly to the mental state of the writer brought about by prolonged absence of fun.
Pardon me for the strange title , but I’ve my excuses and very good one as well. Imagine a person who’s got one thing or the other to keep him engaged.. full of life ,youthful energy..Then all of a sudden ..he is left with a void as big as the ozone hole..He’s left with nothing..just the usual chores, all day long. Have a look at a normal day of such a person..his usual mornings begin around 11..(well he woke up early for a couple of days and found that it meant extra hours in a day which were already the longest he has come across..).After the breakfast..he starts on a newspaper (mind you nor one neither two…make it three…he reads and reads…word by word..article by article…page by page..till the paper is exhausted..and so is his brain..a couple of hours done with…) So,now what…yeah sure..the idiot box comes to his calling…He picks up the remote, surfs through the channels…infinite number of times…espn /star/ten-sports, the usual saviors come to his side…but Alas!! Like all others they leave him too…all his first loves’ cricket/soccer/tennis/F1.. shown the curtain…but he doesn’t give in(does he have an option??)…Bring on golf ,bring on NBA…He remains glued to the set.. watches USPGA .. and u can take my word for that…His head is whizzing, his eyeballs popping out, his hair resembling that ‘centre shock’ guy..
Flipping the channels..he lands in the music zone..ha..ha..he looks gleefully..now here’s something that will keep me hooked..the delight turns into disdain in a matter of minutes (read seconds..) goodness gracious !! A face keeps staring out of the screen..whichever channel he tunes into.. a nasal voice crooning to the hilt..and this time around it comes in packages..the man is debuting as an actor.. who else ..but Himesh Reshammiya..there are strange promotions for his movie… (they tell you..he actually removes his cap for 10 minutes in the movie..now that’s something for a suspense..i just can’t wait…lol..) moreover there’s a scene in which he breaks into a fit of laughter..and a comment flashes on ..’and you thought he didn’t even laugh’…Weren’t his antics enough for the albums…that he had to bridge the gap between small screen and cine screen…You can’t even sue him..its a free country after all !! Oh..wouldn’t it be wonderful if a UFO zooms out of nowhere and abducts our vivacious , versatile – Himesh & takes him away for good…after all what better a specimen for the aliens to conduct their experiments then him - a messenger of humanity, a man of endless traits…he composes music, a regular on chartbusters ,a judge on talent hunts..and now an actor…they tell you..he is here to stay…won’t it be…GOOD RIDDANCE!!
Frankly I’ve been very curious of late after catching a glance of the promos and trailers of ‘Aap Ka Suroor -The Moviee’..What is the targeted audience of this movie?? Who the hell are those people who would rush to the theatre to catch his histrionics ..am at a loss to determine this.. photographers should stand at the entry points of all the cinema halls to catch them napping and publish their profiles in the morning editions..
Back to the mainstream ,our protagonist is back to doing what he does best-flipping channels..(sidestepping the K-factory ofcourse ..)Suddenly a new world floors him…the ruckus of bollywood…movies mostly..relieved at last ..better late then never…he starts on one..par bhagwan jab deta hai to chappar fad ke deta hai..the movie turns out to be a scene-to-scene copy of the excellent Hollywood flick ‘Identity’..Ramu is a genius at imitations but don’t you think its time he uses some of his brain to dish out something original...I’ve always held ‘SNATCH’ in high esteem.. the finest of intelligent humor genre..so u can imagine one’s plight when another of our neo-experimentalist ,innovative directors shreds it into pieces for his bollywood style adaptation ‘Fool n Final’…Inconceivable but true unfortunately..just for a moment ..curiosity got aroused ..Who has been chosen for the role of the mercurial Brad Pitt –the bare-knuckle boxing sensation, the fu****g pikey…no surprises this time around..its our very own JAT PUTTAR – sunnie paa ji..sending punches with greater aplomb ,any of his diehards would argue.What has the Indian film industry come to…question rakes up..thankfully there are movies like Guru & Metro to look forward to…still Bhagwan hamare nirdeshako ko sadbudhi de !!
Back to ground zero.. Disheveled to say the least .. tv is turned off..so what next..the nightmare has just began. Afternoon naps are a wonderful way to kill time..but what if someone has an innate aversion to it, then he is in serious trouble..so alternatively he went for ‘hibernation’ –lie down ,close your eyes, drop the shutters of your mind, with the imagination as wings fly high ..stay that way for the greatest period you can…because you’ve to while away your time anyhow…I know this is bordering on the absurd..whatever…
Some would recall that the person had huge plans before the onset of holidays.. lets have a look at how they unfolded…yeah ..a trip to Himachal.. after hours of negotiations ,all agreed on Manali .. finally settled on a travel plan that involved a journey to Delhi and then a ‘volvo’ thereafter to the snow capital..a respite from the crazy heat of the plains..It was all so perfect, but fate had other plans for us. Some practical soul in our midst remarked ..”Its the season man!! What about the bookings?? “ he had hit the bull’s eye..we enquired and we really did..7-8 calls..all replied with the same banal remark..” We are full, sir”..to hell with booking..but sleeping on the chilly footpath didn’t appeal positively to me and like-minded souls..so back to square one !!!
Having acquired lately a passion for perusing ET (hey its not the extra-terrestrial though it closely resembles one…it’s The Economic Times) …he dwells over pie-charts, tenders, stock values, mergers & acquisitions, blah blah blah…and all likewise gobbledygook…...Till this part of the day, signs of insanity are visible .The intra-room and inter-room strolls increase by the minute ..stares into space and vacuum..thoughts of reality and abstract..effectively lost..Honestly whats this state of mind called…definitely not schizophrenia…’Lympho-Sarcomma of Boredom’ would be better.. the hunt for names is on..
P.S.: Suggestions, solutions and any likewise treatments are readily invited…
