DECONSTRUCTING SELF

The Proposal

2009-09-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

I found this among the penultimate episode of Californication's season 2. It struck me as one of the most beautifully written proposals to date. Hank Moody at his lyrical best..

I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me.But this...
this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write.There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it.
I met someone. It was an accident.I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't on the make.
It was a perfect storm. She said one thing. I said another.
Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.
now there's this feeling in my gut. She might be the one.She's completely nuts...in a way that makes me smile -- highly neurotic.A great deal of maintenance required.
She is you, karen.
That's the good news.The bad is that I don't know how to be with you right now.And it scares the shit out of me.Because if I'm not with you right now, I have this feeling we'll get lost out there.
It's a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment...the moment that could've changed everything.I don't know what's going on with us, and I can't tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me...but, damn, you smell good -- like home.And you make excellent coffee.That's got to count for something, right?Call me.

Unfaithfully yours,
Hank moody.

Of days gone by...

2009-06-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

I just sit there ,crosslegged ,perched atop my berth, gazing out of the window at sandhill dunes and small rocky plateaus.Besides me a host of Gujju families keep chattering in words which sound like Sanskrit to me .Names of stations flashing by evoke long-forgotten memories of newspaper clippings. Life as I knew it has ended and a new chapter has swept me off my feet!
Just a couple of days ago i bid adieu to people whom i have grown to relate with every minor or major event of my life.They were the sheets upon which i had sketched the finest years of my life, the pillars upon whom i had scripted 'My Home away from Home'. An odd bunch of characters who made me cherish the little things in life ,soak in guilty pleasures and enjoy the extremes !And in a split second they were all gone and I am left staring at the vastness of horizons and the numbness of life....
They now stand as figments of memories of days gone by , as i embark on an alien road all by myself. As i look back , smiles cross my face and i am pulled by an uncontrollable urge to click the 'repeat on' button and relive those years all over again .If only...
Every good thing comes to an end ! What remains are small lingering perfect moments , the satisfaction of being there in the first place and the hope that there will be a sequel ..soon. And as they all say 'Hope is a good thing'.

A lily of a day
Is Fairer far in May,
Although it fall and die that night,
It was the plant and flower of light
In small proportions we just beauties see,
And in short measures life may perfect be.
(Ben Johnson)

Do I really belong??

2008-09-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

I was in a deep slumber .Suddenly, I was jolted into a rude awakening . A thought-numbing question scarred me....

Do I really belong ?

As I collected my thoughts ,i could only fetch this much in my defence..

I am your so-called 3rd generation Indian born in the times of double-digits inflation & resounding economic growth .India is my nationality ..this detail is my saviour when i fill forms ( college registration ,voter identity ,passport...) & jot down India as my country by birth & descent .

I don't have in-your-face patriotism .It doesn't ebb out from my veins.I need reminders like the one from who-else but king khan "mujhe states ka naam na to sunai deta hai na dikhai..mujhe sirf ek mulk ka naam sunai deta hai .. INDIA AAA..."

I am your ordinary 20-something who goes mall-hopping ,who celebrates 'friendship day' & who is riding on the IT-Wave. I pride myself as one of the 'sons of the new India'..and take great pleasure in scowling at the rampant corruption, the pitholes & stray cows..(ills ridding the society huh!..as we call them)

I hurl choicest of abuses at the system..'saala system hi kharab hai..ye India hai India .. yaha kuch nhi badlega'..But if given a chance , would soar across the Atlantic craving for an American Dream at the first possible opportunity..

I am one of those who will make loud declarations that i was touched by the impeccable 'Swadesh' but will also add with a lighter undertone..'yaar practical nahi hai yeh..aisa to koi ch****ya hi karega ..haa agar gayatri joshi jaisi koi mil jaaye to socha jaa sakta hai..(laughs all round..period!)'.

I hail from a crowd which never misses a chance to take pot-shots at our colonial medieval police service..'saale bawaal hote hi harkat me aate hai...usse pehle to maa ch***te hai.....' Expletives are a way of life to me..they come to me thick and fast ..

I listen to news of explosions rocking my fellow countrymen,will spare a moment for reflection but then would prefer to talk about it in figures rather then lives ( 'what was the death-toll yaar'..). I will rest in peace until & unless it (read death ) comes close ..too close for comfort..until it knocks at my or my near one's doorstep..

I am the one teething with patriotism when i come out looking dazed after watching first day first shows of 'lakshya ,border..'..'yu to kuch kar guzarne ka man karta hai..yaar army me bharti ho jaaye kya '..but within few moments..reality dawns and i become my usual self craving for the big-bucks via the IIT,IIM route...

Am i eligible ? the choice rests ..

FROM THE MASTER..HIMSELF..

2008-07-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

Well being a long-time admirer of Khushwant Singh , the one thing that never fails to surprise me is his comical longevity & the ability to unhurl literary gems in regular periods... So this morning when I sat down to read his regular column..i found this wonderfully funny anecdote of his..So here's a tribute to the mercurial master & his masterpiece..excerpted gleefully from 'Forms of Protest'...hilarious as hell ..

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC-or Water Closet. She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The schoolmaster asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together, they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a ‘Wayside Chapel’ near the house…A bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster replied:

“ I take pleasure in informing you that a WC is located nine miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds .It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is however plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband.It was a wonderful event . There were 10 people in every seat . It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces . We can take photos in different angles . My wife, sadly , has been ill and unable to go recently . It has been almost a year since she went last ,which pains her greatly.

You’ll be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it… I would recommend your ladyship to plan to go on a Thursday,as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even .The most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere…We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed . I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.”

The woman fainted reading the reply-and she never visited India !!!

CHEENI KAM ???

2007-09-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

Life with a sweet tooth is a tough one, take my word for that... To all dose fellow chocoholics & 'mad about sugar' people round the globe.."mate, you are close to losing another loyal member of the dwindling fraternity".. Its a sign !! sign of an imminent disaster..hurled from all nooks and corners across the globe ..we are losing the battle-- a long & bitterly fought one against those oh-so-rigid nutritionists ...They are finally gaining ground on us ,thanks to those 'a research paper a day' studies hell-bent on eliminating 'sugar-intake' from our midst..Its closer to 'DOOMSDAY' then one would have thought ever.. The day is not far when our beloved "cheesecakes, gajar ka halwa, choco-fudges, kaju ki barfi" would become stuff of legends !! the coming generations would only talk in terms of 'basic calorie requirements' & 'dietary values' ..What the hell happened to terms like 'taste' ,'cherish' ,'crave' ??

Its always a pleasure to move back in time..to fly without wings to moments you were so familiar with but lost count of due to 'winds of change' or as they call it 'the ravages of time'..one of my very first 'sweet' memory is of a tempting, irrestible ,snowy white 'roshogulla' creeping into the corners of my mouth at a snail's pace ..It was just perfect !!! my childhood has seen an oft-repeated scene..mom chiding me playfully rather mocking me.."sab log namak khaate aur ek tu hai ki..bas meetha meetha.." nw nw ma.. is it my fault that i have been hand delivered from space with a sweet tooth..(by the way ..'sweet teeth' would do lot better..lol)..Then there were times -festival times-when i would be left to feast on the whole dibbas all alone...cris-crossing my way through the favs...Even my most precious dream back then was to get locked inside a 'mithai mart' , left all to myself as moon shone away..

The routine was hardly different when i came to college..One of those strangely peculiar scenes were ma friends pulling me away from chocolate shops during our evening strolls..& mind u with all their vigour..a more comical one was the Mr.Brown one..people order sandwitches,burgers but its anebody's guess what his highness goes for..all kinda pastries..(truffles,eclairs,dark-choco..blah blah blah...)The matters came to such a degree that i hardly had to bother about the order..they served with a pre-conceived notion after all..lol...

Things have changed ..they have changed a great deal..the first big shock when papa got diagnosed with 'diabetes' -he with that healthy lifestyle and low key sugar diet-if that could happen anything could..Insulin or the lack of it was at work again..and slowly reality began to sink in rather 'kicked in' by all those who just can't resist taking a pot-shot..check them-"u are not eating sugar ,bhai,its eating u!! "..."when the hell are you going to cut on that sugar of yours..dont you realize your probability of catching diabetes has gone up numerically coz' genetics says so" !!! But the remark that scores above the rest came from that sweet sis of mine.."lets make it clear , its very simple, r u going to cut it or shud i cut u ?" frankly i have seen very little of her tempers otherwise i would not have exclaimed "take a chill-pill..di "..(gosh i simply wonder why am i marooned by 'better sense' in these moments... ) u can very well imagine how everything went da 'happily-ever-after' way later...

Everyone tells me ..'change is good'..even the vodafone ad laughs at me...i want to speak out,cry out loud..'It was better previously,much better..'Its hard to adapt ,more so for a person who had a way of life with it..who waxed lyrics about it..

mai meethe ka cheetta hu...ram pam pam...
mai meethe ka cheetta hu...ram pam pam...
bhais ke aage been bajao ....
ham logo ka ek hi gaana...
khao meetha meetha re..

its actually remixed and borrowed in part..but it tells a story..ain't it??
So where do i stand now? staring into space ..stranded.. cast-away..lost in an alien sugar-less...world ..buhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......

INDIA UNRAVELLED...

2007-07-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well i came across this piece 'Dead on Arrival' by Farah Baria ..there in commenting on the abysmal state of mumbai's trains upon the first anniversary of 7/11..she concluded with one of the finer descriptions of India..aptly put..

"This is India in a railway carriage ,a mini facsimile of one billion people who know that to live is to struggle. And to succeed is to surrender - nay, embrace the inevitable .Fortunately , it will take more than seven bombs to shake that faith."

Love across the salt desert...

2007-07-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I came across this quote “Romance is the privilege of the rich, for poor they must be practical.” It was under the heading “Think It Over…” and really kickstarted my thought machine. My mindballs got activated and came in a state of flux. Initially, my elements moved to and fro between the two contrasts. Whether it was some medieval old world mumbo-jumbo or a critique of our times? For solutions I flew back in time. Since time immemorial, love stories of lore had been sung and written about –Laila-Majnu , Romeo-Juliet , Soni-Mahiwal (to name a few ). And in most of the cases, they belonged to the economic classes at the two ends of the spectrum. As is known to us, most of them transpired with bitter ends –the motto being ‘Till death set us apart’. Their love immortalized over time, distance and boundaries of class, creed and civilization. But to classify them as successful would be a difficult one. They set great examples but ‘are they worth following’ is very much debatable. For a while forget the bigger question-are we clear on the basics.

Each of us has his own definition of ‘Love’. Honestly whats love? Lets be simple without bordering on the metaphysical and the spiritual. One fine day, 7-8 years ago we were struck with this question –‘we’ stands for me n my unsuspecting classmates. It was our ‘Moral Science’ class and little to lecture on, the teacher launched this torpedo in our midst. In spite of our best efforts to dodge it, she was hell-bent upon an answer. As usual her favorite bunnies were rounded up – yours truly being one as well. Some tried a vague explanation, while others went the Hollywood way. It was a time when I took great pride in giving muddled answers with a little taken from here, a little borrowed from there and in more than a few occasions came out scot-free. This had emboldened me and I had almost perfected the ‘jugad’ trick (which normally is a feat for the college..) back then. So come this time I was prepared for the assault (read question) and gave an altogether different turn to the discussion.” Mam’ its something complicated, it can be equated to attraction in magnetism, unlike poles attract each other, like poles repel each other.” The answer hadn’t escaped from my mouth and the class was bursting with laughter, even the oh-so-stubborn faculty managed a smile.

Shahrukh Khan redefined love in the nineties with an out-of-the box dialogue “pyar dosti hai”. Love is friendship. The writing on the wall was perfected by Kunal Kohli’s Humtum “ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte”. Well that was Bollywood at its best –funny and ridiculous. Thanks to the sms phenomenon we have the economists ,biologist and technologist point of view. Eco : Love is that entity for which demand is always higher than supply. Bio: Severe infection of a bacillus which when viewed under microscope shows heart-shaped colonies being sensitive to antibiotics like CAREcillin. Tech: Love functions like a Blue Tooth, in which 2 bodies are connected without any Data Cable. Take your pick…

My oxford dictionary describes ‘Love’ as ‘a strong feeling of affection’ and /or ‘ a great interest and pleasure in something’. Are we any clearer?? Rather not.. Old scriptures dictate ‘Its better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all’. Clearly, they had uncluttered views which didn’t pass to subsequent generations !! The consumerism of our times has tended to simplify the matter by notching up words like ‘crush’, ‘infatuation’ ,’obsession’.. They tell us..crushes happen all the time when you are walking on the road, riding a bus or even watching television, its just spontaneous attraction . Likewise infatuation is a adolescent thing –a crush which refuses to pass on & builds into intense passion. Those who’ve been through the blockbuster ‘Fatal Attraction’ or its Indian version ‘Pyar Tune Kya Kiya’ have first hand-knowledge of obsession. Complications abound –classification leads us nowhere.

Lets leave the specifics –what about a middle path? Ok we know love is pure, love is divine.. Who have loved have lived, Who hasn’t has to start living. But feeling is believing – in there lies the cure to our confusion.

Love does not require a definition –different people interpret it differently. Its not an economic entity whose pros and cons are laid out. It is beyond the purview of the methodical, know-it-all science. The closest scientists have come to describing it is- affection generates endorphins, hormones which cause a feeling of well-being, a feel-good factor. Inconclusive!!. There are neither conditions nor restrictions in love. What better way to put it than the oft-repeated dialogue – if u love someone set him free, if he returns then he is yours for the taking otherwise he didn’t love you at all in the first place. Love defies boundaries –there is no definite flight plan. It charters its own course- doesn’t require a mariner’ compass. The vagaries of nature – whirlpools, sandstorms –fade in its face.

It would be foolish to call it a ‘process’, ’cycle’ or ‘procedure’. One can’t think beforehand and start loving –it ain’t a mechanical process. It happens, it doesn’t occur. There are symptoms of ‘Loveria’– u lose your sleep, abstract thoughts crisscross your mind, appetite juggles from min to max, dreams which were multi-faceted now have a sole occupant. All pretty much generalized …

Even the 4^th generation computers can’t lay an algorithm for it. They meet a dead-end at this point. Because love is everywhere- radiating from the inner reaches of our soul to the building blocks of nature. Its what it appears- the realization of the brightest dream of our life. Honestly its simple .Once you’ve ‘been there done that’, words matter little, you’ve a firsthand account…a story to tell..that too..your own..

In celebration of the spirit of love, tune in to one of the finest romantic melodies of our times, You are my #1 (Enrique feat ALSU )…

I've kissed the moon a million times
Danced with angels in the sky
I've seen snowfall in the summertime
Felt the healing of the powers above

I've seen the world from the highest mountain
Tasted love from the purest fountain
I've seen lips that spark desire
Felt the butterflies a hundred times

I've even seen miracles
I've felt the pain disappear
But still haven't seen anything
That amazes me quite like you do

You bring me up when I'm feeling down
you touch me deep you me right
You do the things I've never done
You make me wicked you make me wild
'Cause baby, you're my #1

I've sailed in a perfect dream
I've seen the sun make love to the sea
I've kissed the moon a million times
Danced with angels in the sky

I've even seen miracles
I've seen the tears diappear
But I still haven't seen anything
That amazes me quite like you do

LOST IN TRANSLATION...

2007-06-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER : The strange style of writing and the weird viewpoint presented can be attributed strictly to the mental state of the writer brought about by prolonged absence of fun.

Pardon me for the strange title , but I’ve my excuses and very good one as well. Imagine a person who’s got one thing or the other to keep him engaged.. full of life ,youthful energy..Then all of a sudden ..he is left with a void as big as the ozone hole..He’s left with nothing..just the usual chores, all day long. Have a look at a normal day of such a person..his usual mornings begin around 11..(well he woke up early for a couple of days and found that it meant extra hours in a day which were already the longest he has come across..).After the breakfast..he starts on a newspaper (mind you nor one neither two…make it three…he reads and reads…word by word..article by article…page by page..till the paper is exhausted..and so is his brain..a couple of hours done with…) So,now what…yeah sure..the idiot box comes to his calling…He picks up the remote, surfs through the channels…infinite number of times…espn /star/ten-sports, the usual saviors come to his side…but Alas!! Like all others they leave him too…all his first loves’ cricket/soccer/tennis/F1.. shown the curtain…but he doesn’t give in(does he have an option??)…Bring on golf ,bring on NBA…He remains glued to the set.. watches USPGA .. and u can take my word for that…His head is whizzing, his eyeballs popping out, his hair resembling that ‘centre shock’ guy..

Flipping the channels..he lands in the music zone..ha..ha..he looks gleefully..now here’s something that will keep me hooked..the delight turns into disdain in a matter of minutes (read seconds..) goodness gracious !! A face keeps staring out of the screen..whichever channel he tunes into.. a nasal voice crooning to the hilt..and this time around it comes in packages..the man is debuting as an actor.. who else ..but Himesh Reshammiya..there are strange promotions for his movie… (they tell you..he actually removes his cap for 10 minutes in the movie..now that’s something for a suspense..i just can’t wait…lol..) moreover there’s a scene in which he breaks into a fit of laughter..and a comment flashes on ..’and you thought he didn’t even laugh’…Weren’t his antics enough for the albums…that he had to bridge the gap between small screen and cine screen…You can’t even sue him..its a free country after all !! Oh..wouldn’t it be wonderful if a UFO zooms out of nowhere and abducts our vivacious , versatile – Himesh & takes him away for good…after all what better a specimen for the aliens to conduct their experiments then him - a messenger of humanity, a man of endless traits…he composes music, a regular on chartbusters ,a judge on talent hunts..and now an actor…they tell you..he is here to stay…won’t it be…GOOD RIDDANCE!!

Frankly I’ve been very curious of late after catching a glance of the promos and trailers of ‘Aap Ka Suroor -The Moviee’..What is the targeted audience of this movie?? Who the hell are those people who would rush to the theatre to catch his histrionics ..am at a loss to determine this.. photographers should stand at the entry points of all the cinema halls to catch them napping and publish their profiles in the morning editions..

Back to the mainstream ,our protagonist is back to doing what he does best-flipping channels..(sidestepping the K-factory ofcourse ..)Suddenly a new world floors him…the ruckus of bollywood…movies mostly..relieved at last ..better late then never…he starts on one..par bhagwan jab deta hai to chappar fad ke deta hai..the movie turns out to be a scene-to-scene copy of the excellent Hollywood flick ‘Identity’..Ramu is a genius at imitations but don’t you think its time he uses some of his brain to dish out something original...I’ve always held ‘SNATCH’ in high esteem.. the finest of intelligent humor genre..so u can imagine one’s plight when another of our neo-experimentalist ,innovative directors shreds it into pieces for his bollywood style adaptation ‘Fool n Final’…Inconceivable but true unfortunately..just for a moment ..curiosity got aroused ..Who has been chosen for the role of the mercurial Brad Pitt –the bare-knuckle boxing sensation, the fu****g pikey…no surprises this time around..its our very own JAT PUTTAR – sunnie paa ji..sending punches with greater aplomb ,any of his diehards would argue.What has the Indian film industry come to…question rakes up..thankfully there are movies like Guru & Metro to look forward to…still Bhagwan hamare nirdeshako ko sadbudhi de !!

Back to ground zero.. Disheveled to say the least .. tv is turned off..so what next..the nightmare has just began. Afternoon naps are a wonderful way to kill time..but what if someone has an innate aversion to it, then he is in serious trouble..so alternatively he went for ‘hibernation’ –lie down ,close your eyes, drop the shutters of your mind, with the imagination as wings fly high ..stay that way for the greatest period you can…because you’ve to while away your time anyhow…I know this is bordering on the absurd..whatever…

Some would recall that the person had huge plans before the onset of holidays.. lets have a look at how they unfolded…yeah ..a trip to Himachal.. after hours of negotiations ,all agreed on Manali .. finally settled on a travel plan that involved a journey to Delhi and then a ‘volvo’ thereafter to the snow capital..a respite from the crazy heat of the plains..It was all so perfect, but fate had other plans for us. Some practical soul in our midst remarked ..”Its the season man!! What about the bookings?? “ he had hit the bull’s eye..we enquired and we really did..7-8 calls..all replied with the same banal remark..” We are full, sir”..to hell with booking..but sleeping on the chilly footpath didn’t appeal positively to me and like-minded souls..so back to square one !!!

Having acquired lately a passion for perusing ET (hey its not the extra-terrestrial though it closely resembles one…it’s The Economic Times) …he dwells over pie-charts, tenders, stock values, mergers & acquisitions, blah blah blah…and all likewise gobbledygook…...Till this part of the day, signs of insanity are visible .The intra-room and inter-room strolls increase by the minute ..stares into space and vacuum..thoughts of reality and abstract..effectively lost..Honestly whats this state of mind called…definitely not schizophrenia…’Lympho-Sarcomma of Boredom’ would be better.. the hunt for names is on..

P.S.: Suggestions, solutions and any likewise treatments are readily invited…

A PIRATE FOR OUR TIMES..

2007-06-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

To say that its more of a tribute rather than a typical post won't be much farther from truth. I've managed 'first day first shows' for both the sequels... So yesterday itself when i was glued to the screens in pvr ( we actually somehow procured the penultimate row tickets... quite n achievement..huh!!) i wondered what is it about this movie that keeps landing it 'blockbuster of the year','biggest weekend opening' and a top ten entry in the 'USA all time box office' ..blah blah blah..leave these ruminations aside..let alone a simple question be answered ..what's so unique about this flick that keeps me n numerous other like-minded folks rushing mindlessly to the ticket counters..( if it keeps u stranded for a three hour stretch in the mall...so be it...another day another show is simply out of the question)
Is it the eccentric but simply mercurial 'JAck SParrOw' , or the flamboyant and equally stunning Elijabeth Swann ( who can forget those seductive looks and locks ..till this day they form a major chunk of my slice of 'day-dreaming'..) or is it the chivalrous 'Will Turner' (swordsmanship can be his middle name...) and a score of other characters who have fascinated some and repulsed others likewise..take the slimy and 'lovelorn' 'Davy Jones' (even such a fathead has a girl swooning over him..what has the world come to??..some food for thought !!) or the villainous & cocky 'Captain Barbossa'..all inhabit the same world..all are simply unforgettable..
But if one would attribute the timeless charm of this movie to a single character ,he would be doing a huge disservice not only to the rest but also to his ability to pronounce a good judgement on a movie!! Agreed..Depp has immortalized Jack Sparrow..he carries the weight of the movie on those undulating shoulders of his..his screen presence is enough to draw out wide grins from even the most serious of viewers..he has redefined the persona of a pirate..enough has been said and commented on his character...but if you observe closely its the blend of old world piracy and modern subtleties that has reproduced a genre that has been so stagnant for decades..yeah the pirates genre...the movie provokes the darker,adventurous side of our life which is otherwise cluttered in fixed,repetitive schedules..
Deeply reflected in Knightley's character is the urge to break free..to embark on a voyage to worlds unseen,to waters unconquered, to the world's end (literally)..she has a privileged lifestyle but she constantly fantasizes about the pirates..and she's the happiest amongst them.. a part of the crew,part of the ship...it does the identical to us..it revives the pirate in us,gives breathing space to it..the freedom to explore unknown waters ,to tread past the barriers of your mind..to savour the breeze n salt of hitherto seen frontiers, climb atop maelstorms of uncertainty ..after all life is a voyage at best..one of Sarah Bolton's comes to my mind...
"Voyage upon life's sea,To yourself be true,And,whatever your lot may be,Paddle your own canoe" (spoiler warning: ain't this quote a reflection of the fortunes of jack at the end..lol..)
concluding with an ode to the movie with a song from pirate-lore of old..(actually its picked right from the movie..copyright infringement, plagiarization n what not..but for the time being ..let it rest in peace ..and instead look for the 'potion of youth'...watsay??)

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will we'll roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

SUICIDAL TENDENCIES !!!

2007-05-30T23:04:00.001-07:00

Well dis one had me hooked big time...i've been drawn to post on it ..finally i manage to translate my bewildering thoughts into words..just before our end sems woke us from our deep slumber..a news did the rounds ..One of our senior mam committed suicide..another one..majority of us thought..its really becoming a norm in our college..Not a single academic year goes by without one.Rumours flied high and large,causes attributed ranging from absurd to hanging on the edge of reasoning..in between i was lured into reflection (introspection is becoming my singular trait these days..) What is that feeling that incites a person to severe the umbilical cord of life in one go..to let go of as precious a gift as LIFE ..i for one fail to see da reasoning.. is it a malady or a debilitating state of mind or a moment of madness?? take your pick..
Life's indeed priceless..we don't need a socrates or martin luther to tell us that..some of us have lived it to the fullest ,others not so.. while some have felt let down..but they still cherish it ..because a fact can't be argued..that it remains and will remain the greatest gift to mankind (rhetorics apart) Why is it then that out of all paths..the most precarious is selected?? depression is often the most common reason ascribed to it.. peer pressures /unimaginable stress/heartbreak being the others..But if u manage to survive these 'oh-so-banal comments' from 'i-know-better' psychologists and NGO's a far clearer picture comes out ..suicidal tendency is a state of rashness,a point in time of anxiety..a melancholic framework...they feel their backs against the walls....In their distressed composure they find all the doors shut ..which in reality are just closed not padlocked..some furious shoulder pushes can easily deal with the door..the point being that a little effort on their side and a greater part on their well-wishers can avert the worst-case-scenario..Counseling has emerged as a wonderful solution ..mitigating these cases almost by half..but there's a catch..there is a famous 'kahawat' in Hindi..pyasa kue ke paas jaata hai,kua pyaase ke paas nahi..Aptly put its not within the counselor's capability to harness cases looking for them door-to-door..
Whether its a sophomore or a graduate the worst affected remains the parents..they are like two gardeners who have nourished a peepal all their lives and one fine day find it gnashed,sliced,grounded to dust..lying prostrate ....All their efforts have been blown away to nothing in one moment of misfortune..juz a little consideration on the part of their juvenile would have saved the needful..but all's lost ,feelings smitten,bodies enervated for ever!!
Ups-n-downs are part of life..struggle and upheavals make life worth living..Sometimes struggle are exactly what we need in life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles,we would be crippled.Give every opportunity a chance,leave no room for regrets." My appeal to everyone out there ..think once,think twice,think thrice,think as many times as you like,but think for the heck of it before kicking the bucket..there r no shortcuts to life..

P.S.: i ought to do something about these contemplative moods of mine..watsay??

JUDICIARY-AN UNRULY HORSE???

2007-05-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

Being an avid reader of the indian express..one can't fail to miss the endless and evergrowing debate about judicial activism ..column space in huge bulks is being devoted to it..luminaries from varied spheres have been conspicuous in resting their minds to peace with their polished opinions..well i for one could not grasp the points of dissension at first..but after perusing actively..comprehension dawned..one does not require a degree in rocket science to conclude that the menace is not the intended topic but the depreciating standards of both the executive and judiciary..a dignitary remarked that the comparative fall in faith in the institution of judiciary was much less in comparison to colossal distrust in the executive (read politics..) is this really the case??
Anyone having a faint knowledge of the judiciary's knack for procrastination would laugh aloud... if one goes looking across any nook and corner of India..the surest possibility is that he won't come across any sessions court (leave alone Hon'ble High court or the Supreme court) that hasn't been blessed with thousands of pending cases both civil n criminal alike..there has been instances and a very high percentage of them when both the plaintiff and the the defendant have succumbed to natural deaths and the case potters along at a snail's pace juggling along a decade or two or even three!! this is just one thread of the disconsolate story..hefty exchange of money under the table to deliver a favourable judgement is accepted like a lesser evil..such a sorry state of affairs...nowadays any sensible and pragmatic person would go out of his way to stay at a arm's length (personally i would prefer a reservation line's length!!) way from a court..the gross expenditure incurred in pursuing a case has created numerous indigents out of the vulnerable lower middle class...if this doesn't augment a review in the state and actions of a judicial policies (they r still the colonial ones remember..there have been no amendments ever since) ..i fail to see what does!!!
Many would conclude that there is still a thin ray of hope in the judiciary..preconceived notion being politics is doomed!! but unless and until a paradigm shift is called for..a day is not far when judiciary would lose its nineteen-twenty status..and seen with as much detest as we now perceive the political hooligans (one should say the rising stars of the post-millenia criminal politics..the oligarchs of our future..)
someone rightly remarked once..
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

MY CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKES !!!

2007-04-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

Well to be honest such a degree of resemblance was unthinkable...but in the long run its actually flattering !!

I HOPE TOMORROW IS LIKE TODAY ..

2007-04-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

I'm awake, you're still sleeping
The sun will rise like yesterday
Everything that we are now
Is everything we can't let go
Or its gone forever, far away
I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that
You're probably dreaming that you're flying on
Then you start to fall
But then you rise
and shine forever
Don't go away
I hope tomorrow is like today

I've known it since long but never truly realized what it actually meant.My brother told me ,his friends testified to it ,but it was so distant and faint that the fact it would really matter was a stranger to me.So here i confess at last..i feel it ..that pang of craving ..the paucity of time in hand all creeping in ! Time's flying away ,that too in gallops .I imagine myself standing in the midst of a desert trying to hold on to the loose fragments of sand ..but it keeps slipping from my clutches..leave alone the metaphor, but last two years have sped away like a comet zooming into the abysses of the universe withholding nothing ,no sense of direction whatsoever.
Well it all started an unrelenting afternoon almost two years back..it was the usual august day..mercury rising all the time.The grueling registration session was over..finally..and it was time i paid a visit to my newly allotted hostel room..accompanied by my father..a bunny of a room .honestly unimpressive to be fair..i still remember that distant feeling when i was all on my own...I've never been away from home ..(i was a fresher..so none of the kota or delhi stints..) the first week was strange ..

REINCARNATED!!!

2007-04-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

The reader should realize that it could not have happened otherwise and to give it any other name was simply out of the question !!!
NIKOLAI GOGOL (THE OVERCOAT)

The thought has been there at the back of my mind since long but to bring myself to it has been an onerous task considering my perfection in the art of neglecting all tasks to the last pico-second..(those who know me will surely raise a toast to this!!)..for starters the pertinent questions would be "why did i quit blogging, what kept me so booked that i could not devote a fraction of my time and energy to a thing that had me hooked big time? and where have i been? (well did anyone really give a shit..thats a different story altogether!!)..
Well nothing big has really happened..life has been the usual rollercoaster ride..lots of fun..not much to ponder or droop about..A premature explanation would be..i got cocooned in a feeble variety of Writer's Block..(i can imagine the brickbats being hurled...).another one can be blogging was proving to be a major distraction and a hindrance to whatever huge i was planning to accomplish (but i m a b-tech student..and all those acquainted with the engineering curriculum would succumb to a laughing fit with this reasoning..)..simply put you cannot ascribe a reason to everything!! after all ..."reason like whiskey,loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities"..
The essence is obvious, re-entry of one more lost soul in this maze of gigantic proportions and endless opportunities (as we all say..'subah ka bhula agar shaam ko ghar aa jaaye to use bhula nahi kehte'...) concluding the post with a toast to the person who reminded me that there is still that ounce of creativity left in me to explore !!

INTENSIVE CHEATING PROGRAM !!!

2006-04-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

All the facts stated below are true to the best of my knowledge and the author begs no moral responsiblity for any kind of conflict that arises out of it...lol..

The past fortnight has been as eventful n exciting as one could be ! it began on a frenetic note wid our sessionals zooming in out of nowhere.well wat began as a huge burden soon turned into a mockery.INTENSIVE CHEATING PROGRAM ,to be very precise !!! a thought flirted my mind , that life has really come a full circle ( from stealthily snatching a glance here n dere in the schooldays to craning ur necks in the partner's notebooks).some hilarious anecdotes of our ICV ( as we prefer to call it) ought to be narrated... during the environmental CT( it stands for class test!) copying earnestly from the mastercopy, thakur (he's the heart n soul of our group at college, a real comedian wid n amazing sense of humour) saw the word 'industries' written in a abridged manner wid 'indus' on one end and 'tries' in the next row . Applying his faculties he reasoned dat it can't be 'indus trees', it must have been 'india's trees'...thats not all , here comes the masterful part the whole group comprising about a dozen mindlessly n mechanically copies it till the last one realises it ....can't stop being amused by it since then...And thats juz the beginning...
In the maths paper (it was the last time i was penning down a subject which has been the most endearing to me of all...) the mother of all parody happened..We had this symbol J of a Jacobian (it would sound french..i promise it meant the same to me as well..) ..which from a distance (it was peek-a-boo time after all ..)seemed like the under-root symbol ..(and we found out later that those two were as distinctly unrelated as yin n yang!!!)...One does not need to be a rocket scientist to guess what followed!! The narrator had his own share as well besides playing an active part in the above mess...
well i did my best to avoid it..eye-witnesses will testify that..I was busy jotting out the first question with as much straight-faced innocence i could procure ..though managing only a few sneak-peeks..the invigilator must have had a rough morning (woken up on the wrong side of bed..or most probably a empty stomach..whatever.)..his was a strict vigil...i was being rendered a special attention...it was just a matter of few minutes when i was delivered the apocalyptic judgement..move to the front or move out..it was quite straightforward in the end..i admire him for speaking his mind so clearly...(@!%@!$&!$&@R$^@..)..all of my so-called 'true friends' were splitting into cracks with laughter...cyaa all..as they say.."every tom,dick and harry has his day!!"(dunno..who gave this shitty quote..)..
Well i politely went to the lone seat in the first row..what if my sheet was bleak and clean (on second thoughts i maintained a clean slate..lol..).the girl on my side was penning out here paper with such ferocity..that i grew speechless,numb ...i was faltering to adjust my line of vision to a single line...well i waited and waited..but oh Gosh!! there was no pause,no break...figures kept coming out..theorems springing from memory..greek expressions and constants sketched..i was in a daze to say the least..suspended animation is the best u can attribute to it !!
well a well-aimed spot kick from the back woke me up...i was wrong ..a friend in need is a friend indeed...I decided let bygone be bygone..and that includes almost half of the paper !!! i jumped into the rat-race with renewed vigour..vigorously jotting whatever she wrote...bothering the least about the question number ..i wrote in bursts like a person taken,a man enchanted...when i cud manage to see only the right half of the paper ...i wrote that much only..if the lower half was visible..that would do as well...the clock ticked off...in the end i can safely say my work was a rare display of innovation and the ability to juggle out of unfortunate situations...( the fact that the faculty thought otherwise..tells a different story...it almost acted as a specimen of what not to do during a sessional..lol...!!)

LIFE N THE HECK OF IT!!!!!!!

2006-03-30T06:33:00.000-08:00

Phew!! the month of march has been increasingly hectic ..got into a sort of active hibernation from the blogosphere. but finally i m back after travelling like a robot ( well i nearly became one ..2000 kms in the courtesy of our ever so generous national railways !). frantically jumping through three cities with in a month almost made me accustomed to a life of a nomad and really led me to wonder how did the bushmen of medieval times survived ?? ravaging aimlessly through the deserts of sahara for nothing !!!
Nonetheless, i am now relieved of the monotony of moribund travel and free to let my imagination wander through the lenghths and breadths of kalahaari ( pun unintentional!!!). Due to dearth of ideas , i began a critical analysis of my philosophy of life meandering into a heap of garbage!!!
Since the last week when i resumed my classes , drab & deprsssing lectures have been the order of the day ..one particular electronics lecture was so crap that i droned of into a fantasy only to regain my senses with the announcement of two assignments and a tute next week !!!techniocal studies really need to be upgraded otherwise i can visualize a distant future where lectures will be addressed to empty LTs!
Otherwise , the past week was quite eventful with a buzz of activity around the college .variety of quizzes , codebreakers and aptis(for the uninitiated aptis stand for aptitude tests) adorned the LTs ..Trailblazer organised by FITI was one such event !
but all hell broke loose when its Q-Test paper arrived in the midst of the unsuspecting students(the paper was devised by CAREER LAUNCHER living up to their standard) who had arrived in huge numbers!!! all the gullibles were at their wits end delving deep into the abysses of their cerebellum trying to figure out the imbroglio served out to them !
have a look at a sample question :- " JESUS WEPT" ..we were numbed with the task of assigning a date and a year to this misfortunate event!!!!!!!!
SAVE ME JESUS!!!!
Signing off with great exuberance , as india has done it once agin ( another win while chasing).HATS OFF TO RAINA & DHONI FOR THEIR PYROTECHNICS UNDER NERVE-WRACKING SITUATION !!!!!

RANG DE BASANTI.............

2006-02-25T00:14:00.000-08:00

Since 18th when i watched it , i've been drawn to post a blog on it. well in my opinion rang de basanti is one of the most majestically made movies of our era ... HATS OFF TO RAKEYSH OMPRAKASH MEHRA !!! wat a great movie! awe-inspiring for one & a great entertainer as well . to tell u the truth i was caught unawares when the movie concluded , as if in a rowling-esque trance . without exaggeration , i could feel the blood surging beneath the subcutaneous layers of my skin ( flowery use of the expression , isn't it ?)
one hell of a great movie flick!!! though it may sound rhetorical , coming as it is from an 18 year old , but still i feel that the youth of our country have got to do some soul searching . though it may be unpractical but we have to move away from the odes of americanism we have become so attuned to in the new millenium . to quote from the chetan bhagat bestseller ' one night at the call center ':- junk food,colored fizzy water,dumbass credit cards and overpriced shoes.they call it the youth culture.is this what they think youth is about?we have just been reduced to a high-spending demographic."
On introspection one feels that we have got a lot to offer to our motherland in terms of monetary and intellectual perspective ... as DJ ( dats aamir khan in rang de...for the ignoramus)remarks -" abe paidh de #### , mainu na pata tha mere andar bhi ek aag hai "
signing off wid the lyrics of the song roobaroo which i simply adore ( it seems ethereal to me ) ,three cheers to rang de basanti!!!

aye saala
abhi abhi huaa yaqeen ki aag hai mujh mein kahi
hui subaah main chal gaya
suraj ko main nigal gaya
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2
jo gumshuda-sa khwaab tha
voh mil gaya voh khil gaya
woh loha tha pighal gaya
kichhaa kichhaa machal gaya
sitaar mein badal gaya
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2
(dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera
nayi dagar naya safar mera
jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera
nazar mila zara) - 2
aandhiyon se jaghad rahi hai lau meri
ab mashaalon si bhad rahi hai lau meri
naamo nishaan rahe na rahe
ye kaaravaan rahe na rahe
ujaale mein pee gaya
roshan huaa jee gaya
kyon sehte rahe
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2
dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera
nayi dagar naya safar mera
jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera
nazar mila zara
ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2
aye saala - 4

ADVENTURE FICTION

2006-02-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

FICTION REVEALS TRUTH THAT REALITY OBSCURES -Ralph Waldo Emerson

For all those people who have been inebriated time and again by the lure of adventure fiction ,there cant be dual opinion about the luminary's quote. I for one has greatly relished it . its importance is comparative to aspirin for a diabetic!!!!!!!!!! the legendary memoirs of sherlock holmes (primeval but hugely unrelenting ),the good old hardy boys( remembrall of my adolescence), the epoch-making harry potter(no need to wax lyrics about it) and the contemporary dan brownies (a captivating confluence of religion, science & mystery)...all of them : INCREDIBLE ;SPELLBINDING ;'UNPUTDOWNABLE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My tryst wid adventure fiction started wen i was 9 .the first buk i went across was the usual hardy boys stuff .it was some bloodcurdling werewolf story .but it really got me hooked!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i kind of value dat buk even now .a collector's item for me ...the interest grew in geometric progressions from then.by class 9th i had finished scores of hardy boys , the entire famous five ; the three investigator series & the arthur conan doyles...i gobbled up the sumptuous books wid increasing appetite !!! the shakespearen classics were like a delectable brunch... still the apettite was unwhetted!!!

Moving on, i jumped into Novel-istic proportions .I gorged the'Three muskeeters' , mother of all novels (a tale of colonial chivalry ,seduction & romance).though my father tried hard but DISCOVERY OF INDIA never attracted me !!!the first few chapters only left me flabbergasted(plenty of re-reads were no saviour) and i finally(out of exasperation more i suppose) decided it was out of my domain.

Meanwhile ,a novel world of enchantments & spells awaited me . j.k. rowling had arrived !( not just arrived but blown the air out of many).hogwarts really transfixed the mind , soul and heart!!! it was heartening to know dat unforgiveable curses & sky-rocketing brooms were round the corner !!!

There was always the small town magic of MALGUDI for salvation in torturing summers & freezing colds ...R.K. Narayan is one great man."the financial expert" is the most elegantly & casually written buk i have ever encountered!!! i quickly devoured all his works wid earnest & glee.the wild factual fiction of ruskin bond was like a trumpet to noise -starved ears .the breathtaking transportation into the scintillating world of hobbits by tolkien was like the fulfillment of the most divine desire of life...

Two years of strenous preparations in the +2 strangulated the unearthed pleasures of witchcraft & wizardry.but finally competitions were over..b-tech started & wid it the da-vinci code , angels & demons ,the alchemist & many more .well the national bestseller 'INSCRUTABLE AMERICANS ' deserves a special mention( some wud argue dat dis shant fall under purview but gopal's humorous antics were really an adventure quest for companionship).

well in conclusion C'mon !Lets raise a toast to the LETTER & SPIRIT OF THE ART OF ADVENTURE FICTION( my tribute).may the legend continue !!!!!!!!!!

Signing out wid fun & frolic !!!!!!!!!!

P.S: A Little library in my sweet home & a colossal unread collection is still an eye-feast!

THE PRIMARY POST

2006-02-09T06:58:00.000-08:00

hello frenz upon my entry into the world of blogosphere
well i'll tell u how it all started. today on a D.T.C bus from AIIMS to noida my train of thoughts had a wild flight soaring from the abysses of pacific to the heights of the the himalayas , i felt a deep urge to rediscover myself , to correlate my imagination to meaning & to discover the author in me (i suppose it wud be presumptous to call it the 'author', but still a little exaggeration wud do no one a harm)
For introduction purposes myself RAGHAV YADAV ,a first year enginnering student from I.E.T. LUCKNOW wid branch I.T..(well i suppose dat wud be enough for the beginning)
people will ask why i titled my blog as i have , but dere is certainly a reasoning .being a true capri i've certainly a peculiar inkling for the dilemma and indecision.i just cant help being indecisive!!!!!!!!!!!!!i just cant...
various periods of my life have been reflective of dis .more recently wen i was through the competitive exams stage and had to choose a college. i was caught napping between coaching in kota for JEE or to select a govt. college in UPSEE. well as it is clearly evident i opted for the later. but since dat day i have hugely regretted my decision.i tried to console my mind hoping dat a simulatneous preparaion wud be great. but as i have found out it was a deplorable decision. ' two birds in the bag r better than a plenty in the sky' ( i think i have screwed the quote big time )was my thought at that time,but i have learnt later dat widout dawdling in the potholes of risks one cant hope to steamroll to skyscrapers of greatness
Moving on , i suppose my blogging wud provide a paltform to understand the subtle nuances of authoring a book.i have plenty of ideas circulating through a whirlwind in my mind. but to draft them into a buk wud require some serious skills .
my blog wud certainly act as a itinerary of my serpentine life through the coming weeks.
Before bringing a conclusion to my primary blog i wud mention the person who inspired me to launch into real time blogging- my friend azeem the pmt warrior . though he has hibernated from active blogging for the coming few months his blogs were a treat to the readers......
so signing off wid a quote which i presonally admire a lot
people say " i was born intelligent , education ruined me "
i say " i was born fool , education only made ,matters worse"