May
18

The Proposal !

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Expression of sentiments is one of the uniquest traits of humankind and love is the purest sentiment!
"This is the first time when I am putting together my thoughts of you when I am sane (read not drunk ). In retrospect, this should have come a lot before than now. But then I guess you can’t plan for all things in life like you can’t plan to fall in love and then you can’t plan to fall out of it.    

I have always liked looking at things in retrospect. Mostly, it gives the chance to think through your choices in life. You envision yourself at crossroads and wonder how your life would have panned out, had you made a different choice. You get to explore the things that drive you and the things that you really desire and in essence differentiate between the ‘essentials’ and ‘good-to-haves’.

This time around, I introspected and dwelled on one significant chain of thought. And over and over when i pondered it, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. To begin with, I see people all around me getting separated or divorced. Some of them may owe it to bad choices while some others may pass it on to the need for starting afresh but more than anything it is the result of digging into a fruit knowing fully well that it is rotten at the other end. And when you start on that note, you have to throw that fruit at one point or the other, mostly sooner than later.

Analogies apart, if you enter a relationship which is not built on love or at least a mesmerizing promise of that, you are on a suicidal path. On the other hand, there are the lives that you have built on love. There the possibility is that you may wear out the love but the essence is never lost.

 I know that you fear carrying guilt if you make a call for me. I just want to tell you that guilt does not last for a lifetime, but regrets do. The regrets of not following your heart in the first place, the regrets of not treading the less traveled path and the regrets of living the rest of your life as a simple compromise. 

Life does not come with guarantees, it comes as a mix of good bets and futile bids. A life with me may not be a rose-laden straight path but what is life without a mix of steep lows and sheer highs. All is ask is for you to think again for ours sake and for the lives that we can have. Because at some point in your life you have to take a risk. You have to trust love and fate and me!

 I cannot promise you a lifetime of happiness, but I can promise you my earnest effort in that regards. I cannot promise you a new adventure every day, but I can promise that our lives together will be an adventure. I cannot promise you a life devoid of sadness, but I can promise you my presence by your side in all those moments. I cannot promise you the world, but I can promise you my world.

 P.S. I Love You !"


Dec
28

Nothing else matters

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And when he started penning his thoughts he wrote his heart out.


"I just feel like reaching over and shaking you, hoping against hope that it would knock some sense into you. I wish you would realize that your life is with me. Life is short and you only live once. We have lost a month of that and nothing would excite me more not to lose another moment.

Living with someone is not just about the good and the happy times, it is also about those hard times where one needs to soldier on. And believe you me, with you i want to be there for them all. I know i have been incredibly dumb and downright stupid at times. I know i was slow to the biggest realization of my life. But since it dawned on me, i am left amazed why it wasn't clear in the first place. To put it into words would be difficult but i will give it a try.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was stuck in a rut and it would have never occurred to me had i not met you. With you i saw a better way of life and now that i have lived that i simply can't revert to the old ways. With you i saw a better version of myself, one who lives every moment, cherishes the little pleasures and looks forward to life. With you around hours became minutes, days became hours and you became a synonym of everything good about life. With you around there was no pursuit of happiness, but happiness itself was life.

I have lived a life where dissatisfaction was just around the corner. Complaining about what i had and longing for what i did not came naturally to me. But with you around, i felt a sense of calm. I was at peace with both myself and with everyone around me. It was like reliving your childhood where everything was uncomplicated. One made simple choices and followed his heart. With you, even a drink was an adventure, a meal a celebration and a song sheer magic. 

 I used to look at all walks of life through a narrow lens of achievement and excellence. All my decisions were guided by logic and reason. Sentiments were reserved for a tiny secluded place. And I had always taken keen pride in how i always remained detached and unemotional. But meeting you made me richer in perspective like never before. There was my life with you and everything else faded in the background. And after a long long time the prospect of living in the present had a certain distinct charm. With you around, life was as close to perfection as it could ever be.

 I know i used to list down the pros and cons of our life together. I know i used to analyze every little thing with a microscope. I know i used to pay heed to my brain over my heart always. But meeting you taught me that there are no cons in love, it is just the promise of something better. I realised that you don't think about falling in love, you just do. And it came to me that you should always give love a chance regardless. Cause with you around, there is no tussle between mind and heart, they both yearn for you in unison.

Now i stand here across the bridge from you. All i wish is for you to walk across to me. All i ask is for you to understand that it is once in a lifetime love. All i hope is for you to realize that we are destined to be together. And all i want is for you to take that leap of faith with me. Cause all i need in this life is just you. "

Sep
16

Life and its idiosyncrasies...

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The first hallmark of a good MBA is cribbing and debating endlessly over an inane topic. Posting below an excerpt from a conversation i had over the past week with a good friend.

"I have realized something from my life's struggles and frustrations.
1- Everyone needs satisfaction.
2- Dissatisfied people tend to be frustrated and unhappy. They make a waste of their lives.
3- You need to have a vision of your life with which you can achieve satisfaction.
4- You need to have a way to realize that vision. If you are not on that path it is time to correct your direction.
5- The vision in your mind keeps you sane and forward looking in life.
6- You need to make small improvements in your life at all points rather than one huge improvement. 
7- Smaller kicks are better than one big whack. With smaller kicks you tend to be frustrated lesser. With one big whack you will get massive satisfaction but will be frustrated for a long time.
8- But one needs to be happy every day not extremely happy once in a while. "

It is only now that you understand how deep is the ubiquitous MBA question 'where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
If where you see yourself is appealing to you then it makes sense to move towards it. If not you need to change track and fast !
Hope is a good thing ! Without hope you are lost.
Not every one will actually achieve what he aspires for or what he calls his vision. But slowly if he works towards it the journey would be peaceful and in retrospect he will not regret. Cause he was decently happy along the way, living his life and savoring the little joys.

Sep
04

The Proposal

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I found this among the penultimate episode of Californication's season 2. It struck me as one of the most beautifully written proposals to date. Hank Moody at his lyrical best..

I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me.But this...
this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write.There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it.
I met someone. It was an accident.I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't on the make.
It was a perfect storm. She said one thing. I said another.
Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.
now there's this feeling in my gut. She might be the one.She's completely nuts...in a way that makes me smile -- highly neurotic.A great deal of maintenance required.
She is you, karen.
That's the good news.The bad is that I don't know how to be with you right now.And it scares the shit out of me.Because if I'm not with you right now, I have this feeling we'll get lost out there.
It's a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment...the moment that could've changed everything.I don't know what's going on with us, and I can't tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me...but, damn, you smell good -- like home.And you make excellent coffee.That's got to count for something, right?Call me.

Unfaithfully yours,
Hank moody.

Jun
03

Of days gone by...

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I just sit there ,crosslegged ,perched atop my berth, gazing out of the window at sandhill dunes and small rocky plateaus.Besides me a host of Gujju families keep chattering in words which sound like Sanskrit to me .Names of stations flashing by evoke long-forgotten memories of newspaper clippings. Life as I knew it has ended and a new chapter has swept me off my feet!
Just a couple of days ago i bid adieu to people whom i have grown to relate with every minor or major event of my life.They were the sheets upon which i had sketched the finest years of my life, the pillars upon whom i had scripted 'My Home away from Home'. An odd bunch of characters who made me cherish the little things in life ,soak in guilty pleasures and enjoy the extremes !And in a split second they were all gone and I am left staring at the vastness of horizons and the numbness of life....
They now stand as figments of memories of days gone by , as i embark on an alien road all by myself. As i look back , smiles cross my face and i am pulled by an uncontrollable urge to click the 'repeat on' button and relive those years all over again .If only...
Every good thing comes to an end ! What remains are small lingering perfect moments , the satisfaction of being there in the first place and the hope that there will be a sequel ..soon. And as they all say 'Hope is a good thing'.

A lily of a day
Is Fairer far in May,
Although it fall and die that night,
It was the plant and flower of light
In small proportions we just beauties see,
And in short measures life may perfect be.
 (Ben Johnson)

Sep
13

Do I really belong??

comments (17)

I was in a deep slumber .Suddenly, I was jolted into a rude awakening . A thought-numbing question scarred me....

Do I really belong ?
As I collected my thoughts ,i could only fetch this much in my defence..

I am your so-called 3rd generation Indian born in the times of double-digits inflation & resounding economic growth .India is my nationality ..this detail is my saviour when i fill forms ( college registration ,voter identity ,passport...) & jot down India as my country by birth & descent .

I don't have in-your-face patriotism .It doesn't ebb out from my veins.I need reminders like the one from who-else but king khan "mujhe states ka naam na to sunai deta hai na dikhai..mujhe sirf ek mulk ka naam sunai deta hai .. INDIA AAA..."

I am your ordinary 20-something who goes mall-hopping ,who celebrates 'friendship day' & who is riding on the IT-Wave. I pride myself as one of the 'sons of the new India'..and take great pleasure in scowling at the rampant corruption, the pitholes & stray cows..(ills ridding the society huh!..as we call them)

I hurl choicest of abuses at the system..'saala system hi kharab hai..ye India hai India .. yaha kuch nhi badlega'..But if given a chance , would soar across the Atlantic craving for an American Dream at the first possible opportunity..

I am one of those who will make loud declarations that i was touched by the impeccable 'Swadesh' but will also add with a lighter undertone..'yaar practical nahi hai yeh..aisa to koi ch****ya hi karega ..haa agar gayatri joshi jaisi koi mil jaaye to socha jaa sakta hai..(laughs all round..period!)'.

I hail from a crowd which never misses a chance to take pot-shots at our colonial medieval police service..'saale bawaal hote hi harkat me aate hai...usse pehle to maa ch***te hai.....' Expletives are a way of life to me..they come to me thick and fast ..

I listen to news of explosions rocking my fellow countrymen,will spare a moment for reflection but then would prefer to talk about it in figures rather then lives ( 'what was the death-toll yaar'..). I will rest in peace until & unless it (read death ) comes close ..too close for comfort..until it knocks at my or my near one's doorstep..

I am the one teething with patriotism when i come out looking dazed after watching first day first shows of 'lakshya ,border..'..'yu to kuch kar guzarne ka man karta hai..yaar army me bharti ho jaaye kya '..but within few moments..reality dawns and i become my usual self craving for the big-bucks via the IIT,IIM route...


Am i eligible ? the choice rests ..

Jul
12

FROM THE MASTER..HIMSELF..

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Well being a long-time admirer of Khushwant Singh , the one thing that never fails to surprise me is his comical longevity & the ability to unhurl literary gems in regular periods... So this morning when I sat down to read his regular column..i found this wonderfully funny anecdote of his..So here's a tribute to the mercurial master & his masterpiece..excerpted gleefully from 'Forms of Protest'...hilarious as hell ..


In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC-or Water Closet. She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The schoolmaster asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together, they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a ‘Wayside Chapel’ near the house…A bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster replied:

“ I take pleasure in informing you that a WC is located nine miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds .It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is however plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband.It was a wonderful event . There were 10 people in every seat . It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces . We can take photos in different angles . My wife, sadly , has been ill and unable to go recently . It has been almost a year since she went last ,which pains her greatly.

You’ll be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it… I would recommend your ladyship to plan to go on a Thursday,as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even .The most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere…We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed . I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.”

The woman fainted reading the reply-and she never visited India !!!

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